Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
