No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
