Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
