I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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