All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Enjoy the penises
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
