When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
