Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
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while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
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The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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