If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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