Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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