hotel room ftw
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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