The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
PANTIES FOUND
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