Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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