they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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