3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
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