Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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