Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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