loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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