If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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