i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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