My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
