Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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