it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
