This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
