I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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