she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
