yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You took a bar mat shot.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
