he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
