and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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