hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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