Pappa wants mamma naked
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Couch. On fire.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
