I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
