He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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