quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
