my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
