Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize