Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
