shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
