We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
