Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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