so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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