conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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