Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize