Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
