The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
