Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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