I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
