I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
My vagina just clenched in fear
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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