so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
