I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
