Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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