I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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