Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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