i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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