ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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