i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Please don't give away my fajitas
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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