my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
