At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Come see our sink grown plant.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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