Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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