If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
