he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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