people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
