I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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